My beloved grandma is unconscious. They say she might not wake up.
I'm numb. Tears don't help.
All I feel yet is that it has to be enough soon. No more bad news for a while. Please.
Now, I'm going to feel nothing for a while until I explode in a fountain of useless tears again.
Tears sometimes help, but after the exsessive use of tears the last month I find them completely useless now.
Fuck this. (Yes, I actually said fuck this. Pardon my English, so to speak.)
the eternal sunshine of my not so spotless mind
Oh, sweetie, hang in there. I used to think that when tears felt useless, smashing something would help, but even better: take some time to do whatever calms you and makes you feel good, drink tea out on the porch or have a nice hot bath or sauna and ease out a bit of the anger and frustration. Love and good wishes to your grandma.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up for crying. This is the time to cry.
ReplyDeleteHi Lisa, My thoughts and prayers our with you and your family. What a shitty month but you're a strong woman from what I have been able to see in the short time I've known you. I too have a chronic condition and have been in rehab in the US with patients with your condition. I am entering Sahlgrenska this weekend to begin a two stage back operation and after will need physical therapy. Maybe we could hook up at Sports Rehab or walks in the xusopark. I would love the company and we could spend a little time knitting (or a lot of time knitting:) Bernadette
ReplyDeleteOh Lisa, I'm so sorry. Sending love feels as impotent as your tears, but it's what I've got.
ReplyDeleteMuch Love,
Mandy