Thursday, June 30, 2005

11.15 pm the new estimated time of arrival.
A missed ferry and a slight delay of four hours. I hate waiting.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005


Mandy posted an entry about her dear friend Spencer today. It made me want to write an entry about him too. I've been working on an entry about him but I never find the words I need...

I've tried to write this as a fairytale for quite some time now. It's my fairytale. The problem is I don't know how it ends yet. I don't know if the last words of it will be "...and they lived happily ever after", or if there'll be crying and sad stuff in the end. But the other day, the other main character in this story, Spencer himself, said the magic words: "It's a win/ win situation no matter what. It's either a friendship or a relationship!" and with that I let the heavy cloud of expectation dissolve in the sunlight.

Now I'm at a loss for words again, when it comes to telling the actual story... So I'll cheat. I'll use words I already wrote. A year ago from Saturday (July 2) I found a photo on the internet. This photo:
I clicked it and then my life changed. I wrote this text four weeks later under the title

Blame Canada

In the grey mass of No-one-in-particulars one pair of eyes shone through. There were so many thoughts in them. Click.
In there I found a sentence that made me smile. Click.

So I wrote a few lines and sent them. I don’t usually do that.

In return I got a page full of humour, warmth and personality. It was written in an unpretentious and seemingly unplanned way, where each well chosen word came as a pleasant surprise. I got the story of Tracy McKee and her pierced toes. I got little jokes and word games that weren’t the least bit cheap or far fetched. I got beautiful words about my words. He said he liked my eyes, because there were so many thoughts in them, so I clicked again. In to the next program and in to that Friday night…

And I got more words. More of those beautiful, well chosen, personal, recognisable words. He was two hours late for something he was supposed to do with some friends that night. I didn’t go to bed until after four in the morning. We did not want to stop talking.


The next day he had bought a camera and I didn’t even get scared. We saw. We heard. We talked. And talked. I found myself in somebody else. That has only happened once before.

We saw each other’s reflections in each other’s eyes. Eyes that had so many thoughts in them. And I found parts of myself in him, that I didn’t know I had missed, until now when I found them. And he said he found parts of him in me, that he didn’t know he had missed, until now when he found them.

We have shared in one month, what it usually takes a year of friendship to share. We talk. And read. And discuss. And smile. And talk. We say “me too” and “we’ll see”.

It’s all I ever wanted, wrapped up in the same package as all I never wished for. It’s all I long for, within the same soul as all that I fought hard to get rid of. It’s understanding in the same sentence as a question mark? It’s all I believe in the same idea as all that I’m opposed to.
There is cat food in the dog’s bowl.

I’m fascinated, interested, intrigued, curious and scared. I’m not afraid of water, but the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean frightens me. I’m not afraid to fly, but the thought of someone else getting on a plane makes me terrified. At the same time the adventure is alluring. Pulling. Demanding.

I can’t say no, because it would be as if a new part of myself came and sat down on my couch and talked to me. And continued to talk to me. And continued to smile with me. And finally, I would get to meet those eyes. Those eyes with so many thoughts in them.

My hands are shouting to meet him.

A year of almost daily contact has passed. I feel like I know him inside and out. His friends have become my friends. But I still haven't met him. Yet.

He arrives here the day after tomorrow and I can't tell how it feels. Imagine every feeling there is, then add more of everything and stir. Then throw it all out the window and see what you're left with. That's where I am. I have no idea. I just know it feels a lot. He'll stay for about two weeks, and I promise I'll try to find the words to at least finish the fairytale after that. Whether it's happily ever after, or if it's a "just friends" kind of ending.

My hands are still shouting to meet him.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


dragonflyflyshrimp (Mandy's got this ring)
I also want to post stuff about beautiful stuff I make, but I haven't done much recently and if I have I haven't been able to update my website with it because my computer is acting weird. But since I read a few knitting blogs nowadays I often feel jealous or inspired by other people's creativity. And then I think to myself "I can't do that", but then I add "...but I can do this!" and look at one of my paintings or wear one of my necklaces... and so on. But since I haven't really documented anything new recently I thought I'd make sure that you all have seen my online portfolio at least. Though keep in mind there is more to be added to this page - soon.
Just wanted to brag a bit by sayin "I make stuff too!" without sounding too big headed...

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Swedish - svenska

Since I have two blogs in two different languages I have actually been asked to teach my English speaking readers some Swedish. This is no easy task, but in preparation for the visit from Canada (I’m still working on a blog entry about that. It’s too huge in my head to fit in a blog!) I’ve bought a Swedish – English phrase book. But I have to warn you; This book has been more beneficial to me than it ever will be to anyone with English as their first language! I’ve been laughing myself silly over here, and whoever I show it to also end up on the floor holding their stomach from laughing fits worthy an Eddie Izzard DVD. Those pronunciation hints, or whatever you might call them, are just too funny! They teach you a very bad American accent, I tell ya’! So I’m guessing my Swedish readers will enjoy this entry as much as the rest of you. This list are direct quotes from my book, but if you want more there is one online. I’ve enclosed the link here.
Anyway, here we go:
Swedish for beginners (with heavy American accent):

English = Swedish pronunciation
hello = hej hay
good morning = godmorgon goo morron
good night = godnatt goo nut
excuse me = ursäkta mig eurshekta may
sorry = förlåt furlawt
Sweden = Sverige svairr-yeh
1 2 3 = en två tre en tvaw treh
4 5 6 = fyra fem sex fewra fem sex
7 8 9 = sju åtta nio sheu otta neeoo
10 = tio teeoo

And now some phrases:

- I don’t speak Swedish
- Jag talar inte svenska (yaag taalar inteh svenska)

- I don’t understand
- Jag förstår inte (yaag furstawr inteh)

- I can’t eat this
- Jag kan inte äta det här (yaag kun in the airta det hair)

- My name is...
- Jag heter… (yaag hehter)

- What do you do? (also: What are you doing?)
- Vad sysslar du med? (vaad sewslar deu mehd)

- Can I buy you lunch?
- Får jag bjuda på lunch? (fawr yaag byeuda paw leunsh)

- Thank you. I’d love too.
- Tack, det vill jag gärna. (tuck det vil yaag yairna)

- I’d love some company
- Jag skulle vilja ha lite sällskap (yaag skeulleh vilya haa leeteh selskaap)

- Can you repeat that please?
- Kan ni upprepa det tack? (kun nee eupp-rehpa det tuck)

- Congratulations!
- Varma gratulationer! (varma grateu-lashooner) or Grattis! (grat-ees)

And my personal favorite:
Refridgerator = kylskåp chewl-skawp

Monday, June 13, 2005

mum - five points

I'm sorry but this entry will be a total ripoff of my entry in my Swedish blog from yesterday. It's good and I find myself ready to translate. Not every post receives the honour of being posted bilingually, so here we go:

My mother's been to visit me over the weekend. For two days we've been talking, riding rollercoasters, watching movies, talking some more, eating dinner out and talking even more. My mother is the Best, though we still get sick of each other a little after two days together. But that's just because she's a mum and I'm a daughter and the getting-annoyed-bits are just part of the deal. Now that she's left again I want her back here. It's a typical mum thing.

Mum turned something-ty this year, and her work colleagues got her a great gift - The Gold Pass for the amusement park of Liseberg here in Gothenburg (By the way, Gothenburg is actually called Göteborg in Swedish and is pronounced "Djeuttebawrdj"). Their reason for giving her such a gift was "You love rollercoasters and you get to see your daughter more". She's got the best colleagues. And I've got the best mum. Because her next words to me were: "If I have a Gold Pass, I'll still have to buy you tickets every time because that's what mums do. So it'll be the same thing to my wallet whether you or I have the pass, so here you go!"
Oh my God! I'm now the proud owner of a Gold Pass which means free entrance and free rides (!) all season! Thank you mum! Anyone up for a ride on the rollercoaster "Balder" with me?
But mine has my photo on it...

Then Mum asked if we should be counting points while at the park as well. I didn't understand and she said she couldn't believe she hadn't shared her "points-for-people-system" with me yet - so she did. Now I'll count everybody!
The thing is: My mother isn't supersticious per say. I mean she doesn't throw salt around or knocks on wood all the time, but she has her little... let's call them "rituals for luck". For example: Any day when you see a Saab V4 is a good day (just because those cars are so cute. Imagine her joy when I owned one a couple of years back...). Furthermore the number 11 is extremely lucky (I was born in November). It's so lucky she could wait for many turns at the wheels of fortune to bet on number eleven... only to explain the fact that she still didn't win with bad luck... hm...
Anyway, this points-for-people thing works like this: You get points for people you meet in the street according to the chart below, and the more points, the luckier the day.
- recognizing a face and placing it = 1 point
- knowing their first name = 1 point
- knowing their last name = 1 point
- saying hello = 1 point
- stop for a chat = 1 point

Therefore - someone you know and stay to talk to awards you five points, while that guy who works in that store only gives you one measly point. If "that guy" recognizes you and says hello though, you get one more point. Should you remember later that his first name is Carl, you get yet another point. Celebrities are almost always three points - since you don't say hello and don't stop for a chat.
Only three points. Unless I dare say hi...

I have a strong feeling that this, like so many of my mother's "mind games", will stick and I'll catch myself thinking stuff like "If I get ten points before heading home today I'll buy me something pretty/ go to the dentist/ other appropriate reward"

Thank you mum. I'm now even more wonderfully nuts! I have more games like these, most of which I've inherited from my mum. There is the "I-can't-go-to-sleep-games" and the "I-spy-games". There was a game like this presented in a Swedish movie a couple of years ago. The movie was called Vuxna Människor (Adults), and the game was played while going on an escalator in the subway. You Had To Pick one going in the opposite direction with whom you'd like having sex the most. Problem was that if you didn't pick the somewhat cute one in the beginning you might be stuck with an old creepy one at the end...

Anyway, my favorite is the "coffeehouse guest short story" in which you pick a party of people at a nearby table and you make up a story about their lives, why they're there, what they're talking about etc. This is even funnier when you make up a story together with a friend, or a mum...

Monday, June 06, 2005

top ten

Since I claimed in my last post that the robot body builder pushed the Kindergarten Cop off the top ten of weirdest moments in history, I guess it's only fair that I post the full list. Remember, this is my list, and I know there are weirder moments that I didn't think of right now. I'm not afraid of change though, so feel free to send in your favorites to challenge my top ten! So here it is:

Top Ten Weirdest Things (according to Lisa)
1. George W Bush reelected
2. Barbie
3. (why?)
4. robot body builders (see previous post)
5. prejudice in general (It exists. Embrace it alright?)
6. sacrificing everything over money
("So it destroyed our planet... but I earned millions from it!")
7. overly bendy people
8. all those guiness records that nobody knows about
9. reality show participants referred to as "celebrities" or "stars"
10. the time and effort put into certain flash animations
(I love this one!)

...and I guess I have to add that comedies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger (and the fact that he's now governor!) is still lurking around at a hypothetical no. 11.

And I thought about putting mirrors on the list too, but mirrors are too weird so they didn't make the list.


body building
is probably the weirdest thing I'll see this year. And I already thought this was a weird sport. Arnold as the Kindergarten Cop is no longer one of the top ten weirdest moments in time. This is way weirder. Thank you Rachael for the link and the laugh!