Sunday, November 27, 2005

happy birthday

There is a very apropriate soundtrack to listen to while reading this post. The artist is called Jens Lekman and you can find a pre-listen version of it here. Spencer called and played it to me this morning. You're so sweet! Thank you!

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I think I'm living life instead of writing about it right now. I see friends, I regain lost friends, I've gained a few new friends. I'm preparing for two trips. First, I'm leaving for Scotland on Wednesday, where I'll see two new but dear friends and I'll go see Antony & the Johnsons live in Glasgow. I can't wait.

Another thing I can't wait for is December 15. I'm going to Canada. Finally. A lot is going on and Spencer seems to be doing well, despite his impatience which is, if possible, worse than mine.

Today is my birthday (Whopdi-doo!) and I've celebrated this whole week as it seems now. I've had J and Jch over for dinner, I've been at K's house for a fabulous three course meal in my honour, and today I'll go see the Godfather movies and eat italian food with my friend E. His birthday is Wednesday so we're making a joint effort to congratulate each other today.

I found that picture of the cake on google, but for next year I really would like a Pantheon shaped cake...

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

looking for a lake

Some friends just seem to know by instinct what you need... That, or you've nagged about something for some time, and they chosse the exact right moment to fulfill those wishes.

My friend Jch took me out for a walk in the woods yesterday. Not the tiny almost-civilization-forest-type-areas, but the real thing. Nature.
I couldn't have had a better Sunday afternoon.

I had hardly had any sleep. I had all the wrong clothes on. I loved it. It felt spontaneous. It felt life saving. It was beautiful. And the fact that we laughed our way through two and a half hours of wrong turns and wet toes... We eventually found our lake, and I'll go back there in my mind all week.
Thank you Jch!

Monday, November 14, 2005


I don't usually like to see myself in photos, but I have to share this one. I'm being silly and the colors are... well, yellow, but I still look darn cute. I think.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

if you say so

You are Mohair
You are Mohair.
You are a warm and fuzzy type who works well with
others, doing your share without being too
weighty. You can be stubborn and absolutely
refuse to change your position once it is set,
but that's okay since you are good at covering
up your mistakes.

What kind of yarn are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


This is insane. I got an email today, in Swedish obviously, but a translated version of it goes something like this:

Hi Lisa,

My name is [her name] and I am an intern reporter at [a huge, glossy woman's magazine here]. We're making a blog guide for our readers and would like to get some interviews with some good bloggers. I now wonder if you'd be interested to participate? If you want we could do the interview over the phone and I can email you the questions in advance. My phone number is [her phone number]

[her name again]

I have already accepted, but I do wonder what I got myself into. This primarily is about my blog in Swedish of course, but there's a link from there to here, and it's not all that different either. However I have already removed all the links to other blogs from my sidebar. I don't know if this is to generate more readers eventually and I don't know when either (I'm guessing not untilk next month at least), but I just felt as if it was the right thing to do. For now. I still LOVE you who were in that list though. Have no fear.

Isn't this Crazy?

Monday, November 07, 2005

baby got bag

Ace got a new home, and my whole life (yes, including knitting) fits into it.

I don't usually reach for the best stuff, but settle for a budget choice. This time however I got the Samsonite Sahora Expandable. That's right. It can double the size of the outer big compartment. It's comfortable to carry, even when packed heavily and it will facilitate my life a lot. I can now bring my office around. Yay.
Now all I've got to do is to Lisa it up a bit. So far it has a simple, but heart shaped, reflector keychain dangling from the side.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


I bought it today. The Ticket.

I'll be in Canada from December 15 to January 10.
I can't even begin to tell you what this feels like.

So I won't.

I'm coming to see you!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

self image

I went to a knit-along-café at the museum tonight. I had been looking forward to this for weeks, but never did I suspect that major revelations about myself were to be revealed among yarn, strangers and knitters chatting along about needles and patterns... But that’s what happened.
At the museum a guest lecturer is invited to each knit-along café to talk about their knitting. This time Pernilla Svenre was invited, and this was what I had been looking forward to.

(image from Pernillas' homepage)

I have admired her designs for years now, but I’ve never had the courage to try anything on. Why? Well, for lots of reasons. First of all they are expensive, and by principle I try not to try things I can’t afford on, since the anguish of falling in love with something you can’t get is easily avoided that way. Another reason is I never thought anything of hers would ever fit me. This is where the insights and revelations come in, but to describe them I need to start at the beginning. Starting at the beginning however means that this will become an entry I’ve waited a long time to write. I’m afraid of the feelings that might surface when the words for this find their way through my fingers and keyboard onto my screen. These are words I think and feel almost every day, but they are difficult to articulate and to throw out there.

In my teens I exercised a lot. I wasn’t very good at anything, but I loved exercising. I was always on the bench at soccer games. I didn’t care. Team sports aren’t my cup of tea, but I loved practice, and eventually I found aerobics, which was the combination of dance and exercise I had been looking for. I loved it.
Then something happened. I’m not sure what and when, but I lost myself somewhere along the way and I stopped everything. I didn’t exercise at all for years and I gained weight rapidly. Obviously.

To me, my extra kilos are like snot to somebody with a cold. It has to do with a disease and it’s something that should go away as the disease is cured. But extra kilos are not as easy to get rid of as snot, and my self-image is nowhere near what I see in the mirror. Therefore, my self-confidence when it comes to looks is not the best. I cover it up with an outgoing attitude, but buying clothes is difficult since I feel as if I’m shopping for somebody else. Somebody I don’t want to be.
This is something all about me. I know rationally that I can be seen as beautiful the way I am, but it doesn’t matter as long as I don’t see it myself.

Pernilla Svenre showed some of her clothes today and talked about how she tries to show femininity and sensuality in her creations. She talked about how clothes are automatically feminine when they show off hips, curves and above all the inward curve of the lower part of the back. These are all things I get complimented on. My extra kilos are still shaped in curves and I am thankful that I’m not carrying them all on my belly. Suddenly while she was talking, holding up a long, thin creation knitted in fine mohair something snapped. This sweater wasn’t designed to hang loosely around a skinny Twiggy sized body. It was designed to show off a body. Curves. Possibly even me.

This sounds absurdly ridiculous, I know, but this was huge to me. These clothes are works of art I have admired and feared for a long time. Feared because I was afraid they could show me my worst sides rather than my best. Afraid that their beauty was not for me.
I might not afford Pernillas’ clothes, but I sure will go and try some on, and if something fits I might actually buy it simply because it would be like conquering a demon.

I sat there knitting along on a black wool sleeve and suddenly found myself on the verge of tears. Silly maybe, but huge to me. I almost cried because I liked me the way I am. If Pernilla Svenres’ clothes can show me as beautiful I might believe that beauty myself. Her clothes could be the compliment I haven’t been able to give myself yet.

This might be part of the new life I’ve been talking about, where working on my self image is a huge part of things. But I’d like to thank Pernilla for showing her image of sensuality in her clothes. Somehow they finally gave me some insights about my own sensuality.

I just wonder when I’ll get passed myself and my fear of me. I know I’m good enough, but that knowledge definitely isn’t anchored to my gut yet if I almost cry from liking myself sitting at a knit-along café.

Anyway, here’s my project. It’s taking forever but I included a sketch of what I imagining it to be eventually.

On another note I also included the X-ray of my foot in the post about feet I made a few days ago. I’m sorry Mandy if I make you look at that text again. I hope you found your skin. It would be creepy to meet you in a month and a half if you hadn’t…