balcony

My balcony is a lovely place.
My eight-year-old cousin is asleep on the couch and at first I felt... obligated to come and sit here to give him some peace and quiet. But now, I realise that this is where I should spend the end of each summer day. It's been warmed up all day, so I can sit all night in just a t-shirt. I light some candles (hardly needed. Swedish summer nights are bright.) and I brought my laptop and my knitting. It's this perfect little place! I'll spend half an hour here before I join my little cousin and go to sleep. We've been at a pool all day and we're tanned (read: burned up) and exhausted.
A few breaths of night air and a couple of stitches later I hopefully will have turned "exhausted" into "at peace".

ehum... hello.

I'm back. Sorry I've been... away.

Ehm... How do I start? I mean I haven’t blogged in a while. I could start with... no, if I tell you that I must first tell you about the... or when I... But that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t... No wait... Let’s try this again:

I’m back.
There. I’m blogging again.

I have tried to write some in Swedish, but it was hard. Rewriting it in English felt... even more difficult. But here I am again! Yay! But now, where to start?

It’s been tough. I’m learning a lot about myself and my behaviour patterns. How and why I shut down about some things while others have to come out. How the walls I build to protect myself aren’t at all as strong as I thought. And I’ve learned that I have some really wonderful friends. They’re there for me no matter how weak I need to be sometimes. My pride refused me to see that before.

Now some knitting: I’m making this.

It’s a Shetland Triangle Shawl made from some really cheap cotton yarn. I think the pattern looks great in this tougher material! But the purl rounds are boooooring...
So in the meantime I made these for a friend:

And they were so much fun that I made a pair for me too. Those are the hands of my friend T trying a few stitches on my pair in the photo. We were at a medieval festival and boy did we look picturesque when we settled down for the evenings' concert... Me knitting and him fiddling with some chain mail art stuff... Just look at us:

So, I’m hanging out with friends. Drinking an occasional beer and laughing with dear people in my life trying to live in the moment as much as I can. Also, the snail mail system has brought me real treats as of late. First, there was a care package from Spencer... Filled with love and care, and Longview Jerky, and Dentyne gum and Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice tea... and a new mic for the computer. Spencer cares. And knows what I miss from Canada. Thank youuuuuuu! (Howling)

Second, there was an amazing surprise. Jodi. No, I don’t mean Jodi was pushed through the slot in my door, but she sent me a present. Jodi is amazing and we’ve been reading each other’s blogs for ... a while... long while now. (Hello Jodi!) She sent me an email, just caring for me when I’ve been so ”quiet as of late” (as was the subject to her email). Then – She sends me this:

Can you believe it? It’s the book from A Softer World and some buttons she made. I never met Jodi. Jodi cares. And Jodi is wonderful and sends me a perfect gift. Thank you Jodi! SO much.
She also wrote that she missed my blogging. So has a few more of you. Thank you. It has been a most warming thought, that my words mean something to someones. Thank you guys! I’ll try and be back as a blogger now.

This week my little cousin is visiting. I’ll give a report from my week as substitute mum when we’ve had our amusement park adventures...

This has been a very rambling and a very... uhm... kind of... uhm-kind of blog entry. I'll get the hang of this again soon...
Until then: tata!