Monday, October 09, 2006

scar tissue

The nurse that has been looking after my wounds couldn't keep it bottled up any longer today. She just had to say something about how stupid my doctor was not to have been more careful when closing and stitching up the wounds. "Now you risk getting grotesque scars!" she said.

Then, she continued, that it's up to me now. I need to maintain it. I need to tape it up. Scarring takes up to a year and if I keep those scars tight it might be ok. So now I need to tape my feet for a year. Yee ha.
Or, I just don't, and I get monster feet to scare small children with. Hah! It's almost as if I don't care anymore. Stupid feet.

On another note I've knitted a gorgeous shawl, and I'm starting my secon Baudelaire sock tonight. Pictures soon. I just need to block, photograph and well... get around to it first.

Monday, October 02, 2006

seasons change

I can smell the rain from where I sit on the couch when the balcony door is ajar.
The weather is as ambivalent about the season as I am about life, but right now everything is the way it is supposed to be. Tea in a big cup, a blanket, a lit candle that flickers in the draft from the rainy outdoors... It all says autumn. October. The present. And me. Right here.
My foot is healing. I cleaned up the biggest mess. I wrote all those emails and I finished that text. I’m calm. I got a grip on that economy chaos that had me tossing and turning in the night before. I’m handling it. I’m handling this year and I’m handling me. It’s about time.
It is finally the way it should be. No more summer heat in October and no more me being lost within myself, thank you very much.

Now let’s pray it keeps raining. Just for a while at least.