Sorry I haven't been writing. I think I try to deal with stuff in the real world without pouring it out online, simply because I don't want to phrase it all. I knit, I work and at the moment, I also hurt.
I hade surgery done on my right foot last week. Yes, I finally had my surgery done. They opened me up to clean up around the nerves in my foot, because I've strained my feet so bad, my blood vessels were the same size as they would've been on a limping 75 year old. It'll be better soon. But I'm swollen. More so than they had expected. I had my bandages around the two wounds redone yesterday, and it turns out they put the stitches really far apart to give the foot space to be swollen before it mended itself. It was still very (very) swollen.
Imagine a shirt that is simply too small, but you have forced all the buttons together anyway. Now imagine that same image, but with blue stitches and skin, with a bleeding foot being shut in behind it. Yes, that's me. Or rather my foot.
They promise it'll be better in another week, but I'm already tired of the crutches, of limping and of saying excuse me and asking for help all the time.
This year has been f-ing (yes, the f-word) unbelievable. I don't like it, but I'm getting through it. And of that - I'm actually proud.