Tuesday, April 04, 2006

weak

Ok, I have issues I need to get rid of. Today I had a window seat in a full bus. The man beside me got off and at the same stop a woman got on. I was now sitting next to the only empty seat in the bus, but she chose to stand over by the doors. Panic.
I went through my whole repertoire of "what's-wrong-with-me?"s. I discretely checked my nose for bogeys, flattened my hair, breathed in my hand to do that totally bogus how's-my-breath-test... I even had to think back and make sure I showered this morning. I didn't smell did I? No I didn't. I couldn't figure out why that lady rejected the seat next to me. I went as far as considering she didn't think she'd get enough room next to my fat ass... (No, I'm not that fat).
Thirty seconds later it turns out she was getting off at the next stop. Easier to stand by the door to go for a 45 seconds bus ride. And I'm still so insecure it's scary.

2 comments:

jodi said...

I've noticed there are a lot of people who will stand rather than sit beside a stranger, and often (I think) it's because of their OWN insecurity around maintaining their personal space and not letting anyone's knee and elbow into it. It's not you.

Leigh said...

For such a short trip one has to wonder, why didn't she just walk!?